Christmas can be a hard time for people like us care-experienced folks who have had to navigate life in ways many people don’t fully understand. For me personally, I haven’t celebrated Christmas since I was accommodated in care. It wasn’t something I could enjoy back then, and even now, the holiday doesn’t automatically feel joyful.

And it’s not just difficult for people who are alone. Even if you have a family now, Christmas can still feel overwhelming. There’s pressure to buy presents, host meals, keep everyone happy, or recreate some idea of a “perfect” holiday that you might not feel connected to. Memories of care, a sense of missing out, or simply the stress of the season can all make this time of year complicated.

From Holly, the founder:
This year, I’ll be working through Christmas. I’ll be focusing on uni essays, proofreading and amending my upcoming book, and I’ll probably fit in a couple of games of Call of Duty along the way. On Christmas Day, I’ll be eating whatever I want, when I want and yes, my dog will be getting some treats too. That’s what works for me, and I’ve learned that’s more than enough.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned over time: Christmas can be whatever you want it to be. There are no rules you have to follow. For some people, that might mean:

• Working through Christmas: If parties, gifts, or social expectations don’t appeal to you, throwing yourself into work, study, or a personal project can feel grounding.
• Skipping it completely: It’s okay to ignore the hype, stay home, or treat it like any other day. You don’t owe anyone participation.
• Creating your own traditions: Cook a favourite meal, binge-watch shows, take long walks, journal, game, or rest. Your rituals don’t need to look festive to be meaningful.
• Setting boundaries: Saying no to gatherings, calls, or expectations, is a form of self-care. You don’t have to stretch yourself thin to make others comfortable.
• Finding connection in ways that feel right: A text, a call, an online community, or a quiet check-in with someone who understands can matter more than big celebrations.
• Giving back if it feels right: Volunteering, helping someone out, or showing small acts of kindness can bring a sense of purpose but only if it works for you.
• Prioritising self-care: Rest, reflection, and taking care of yourself are not selfish. Sometimes they are essential.

For people in Scotland, Who Cares? Scotland runs a Christmas dinner every year, bringing care-experienced people together to share a meal and some company. Bookings may already be closed for this year, but it’s something worth remembering for the future and a reminder that supportive spaces do exist.

Christmas doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. You can celebrate it, ignore it, work through it, or completely reinvent it. It can be quiet or chaotic, shared or solitary. The only thing that matters is that it works for you.

For me, that’s what I hold onto every year. It’s not about the tinsel, the presents, or the traditions I missed. It’s about carving out a space that feels safe, manageable, and mine. And that is a celebration worth having.